5 Common Parenting Myths (And What Actually Works)

As parents, we’re constantly bombarded with advice—whether it’s from family, friends, or the endless stream of parenting articles online. While most of the advice comes with good intentions, some of it is based on outdated or misleading ideas that don’t necessarily work in the real world. Let’s dive into five of the most common parenting myths and, more importantly, what actually works.

Myth #1: Good Parents Never Lose Their Temper

One of the most common myths is that “good” parents are always calm, patient, and never lose their temper. The reality? Parenting is tough, and it’s completely normal to feel frustrated or overwhelmed at times.

What Actually Works:

Instead of striving for perfection, aim for authenticity. Acknowledge that you’re human and will have moments of frustration. What’s most important is how you handle those moments. If you lose your temper, model how to repair the situation—apologize to your child, explain what you were feeling, and take the opportunity to show them how to manage emotions constructively.

Myth #2: Tantrums Should Be Punished

Many parents believe that tantrums are bad behavior that should be met with discipline or punishment. The truth is that tantrums are a normal part of child development, especially in toddlers who haven’t yet learned how to regulate their emotions.

What Actually Works:

Rather than punishing a tantrum, focus on teaching emotional regulation. When your child is having a meltdown, stay calm and offer comfort. Afterward, talk to them about their feelings and how they can express themselves in more appropriate ways next time. Encourage them to use words, take deep breaths, or practice calming techniques like counting to ten.

Remember, tantrums are often a child’s way of saying, “I don’t know how to handle what I’m feeling,” not, “I want to make you angry.”

Myth #3: Children Should Always Be Happy

This myth suggests that children should be constantly happy, and it’s the parents’ job to ensure their child never experiences disappointment or sadness. In reality, trying to shield children from all negative emotions can actually harm their ability to cope with life’s challenges later on.

What Actually Works:

It’s okay for your child to feel disappointed, sad, or frustrated—these are natural parts of life. Instead of trying to “fix” everything for them, help them process and work through their emotions. This teaches resilience and helps them build the emotional skills they’ll need throughout their life. Acknowledge their feelings and offer support, but don’t feel pressured to solve every problem for them.

Myth #4: Bribing Kids Is a Good Motivator

It’s easy to fall into the habit of offering bribes—“If you clean up your toys, I’ll give you a cookie!” While this may work in the short term, bribing often backfires by encouraging children to expect rewards for behaviors they should learn to do naturally.

What Actually Works:

Instead of using bribes, focus on positive reinforcement and natural consequences. Praise your child when they follow through with tasks, but make the praise genuine and tied to the action itself: “I’m proud of you for cleaning up your toys, that shows a lot of responsibility.” When children know that their efforts are appreciated, they’re more likely to continue those behaviors without expecting a reward every time.

Myth #5: You Have to Be Your Child’s Best Friend

Some parents feel pressure to be their child’s best friend, always saying “yes” and avoiding conflict to keep the peace. However, this approach can lead to blurred boundaries and confusion over authority in the parent-child relationship.

What Actually Works:

Children don’t need a best friend—they need a parent who can provide guidance, set boundaries, and offer unconditional love. It’s okay to say no, enforce rules, and make decisions that won’t always make your child happy. By providing consistent structure, you’re helping your child feel secure and teaching them the importance of boundaries.

Being a parent who offers love, respect, and structure is far more valuable than being a friend who always says “yes.”

Final Thoughts:

Parenting is full of advice—some of it helpful, and some of it outdated or misleading. By recognizing these common myths and focusing on what truly works, you can navigate the challenges of parenthood with confidence. Remember, parenting isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being present, consistent, and willing to learn and grow alongside your children.

Let go of the pressure to follow every piece of advice, and trust your instincts. When you prioritize connection, communication, and emotional guidance, you’ll raise children who are resilient, responsible, and capable of handling life’s ups and downs.